Why Do I Want.
Art : Ballet.
By Sakuan.
Why do I want to make good art? I want to make good art so that I can communicate what’s in my head as clearly as I can.
Why do I want to be successful? I want to be successful so that I can live a comfortable life. I want to break my famili’s long-time curse of money being the top priority. I don’t want my future wife and maybe kids to struggle financially like I did growing up.
Why do I want to love? I want to love because I want to care about someone else as much as I care for myself. I want to know what that feeling’s like, the feeling of being addicted to someone, the feeling of everything being great when they’re around you, I want to experience the joy of me and them bringing a human into this world, I want to experience the makeup sex, I want to help someone I love to accomplish their goals, I want that feeling. I’ve heard so much about love, and I would love to have the opportunity of experiencing it someday. How do you fall in love? Do you have to work on it? Does it manifest itself with time? Can it really be felt at first sight?
Why do I want to be happy? To be honest with you, I want to be happy because that’s what I’m supposed to think. Personally, I just want to be free, I guess freedom brings about some sort of happiness. Free to do what I think is good for me and my family/ future family, free to make what I want artistically, free to express my thoughts through my writings, free to be allowed to have thoughts and express them without being judged, free to keep to myself without being looked at as weird, free to be a loner in peace, free to love who and what my eyes and heart chooses.
Why do I want to help people? I want to help people because that’s what my heart tells me. It’s hard to help people when you have nothing… it’s hard to help people when you think you have nothing. It’s hard to find ways to help people without money, at least that’s what a lot of people think. It’s hard to feel like you’ve helped someone without offering them money or something that’s gotten from money: food, shelter, clothes, equipment, and so on. Maybe I’m wrong but that’s how it feels to me sometimes, am I wrong? Everything that I’m doing right now, how does it even help people? I write about my life, my thoughts, and things that have helped me cope. It’s hard to feel like you’re doing something when nobody is watching, but the good thing about writing and drawing is, once you put it on the internet it lives on forever, maybe. In the future someone might read and look at my art and find some inspiration to better their lives, documenting helps. So yeah, I want to help people and I hope what I’m doing right now helps people in one way or another.
Why do I want money? Well, I think this is straightforward, I want money because our society is built around it as a currency. Exchanging services or products for money. The ultimate dream is to make money with what you love. Why did I choose art and writing as a career path, of course there are obvious reasons one being I love doing it? When it comes to the thought-out part of it, I wanted to pursue art and writing as a career path because I can do it for the rest of my life as long as I have my brain at a 100%, that’s the beauty of it and I love it. This might sound crazy to some, but when I was young, I always thought the being busy was one of the coolest things ever, the fact of not having time to do something else always fascinated me, I don’t know why I felt this way but I did, so the thought of getting a job where I would have to retire always left a bad taste in my mouth. Even if I never get to make a career in art or writing and I get a regular job where I have to eventually retire, I would still get to make art and write, I would still have something meaningful and I love that. I want money so that I can achieve financial freedom, I crave that feeling of waking up and getting a call from my mother saying her old car broke down and I can make a few calls and get a new car delivered to her immediately, of course the car is just but an example. What a feeling that would be.
Why do I want to be healthy? The fact that I ask myself this query is kind of crazy, to be honest, part of the reason why I want to be healthy is that it’s expected of me to be healthy. I want to be healthy so that I can keep on creating for a long time, I want to be healthy so that my family doesn’t have to worry about a health scare or something of the sort. I want to be healthy so that I can live a comfortable life, a life that I can share with somebody else without feeling like a burden to them, or without feeling like they are with me out of pity. I want to be healthy so that I can be alive to see my kids grow, I hope I have some one day. I want to show them how to live a healthy life and how important that is, physically, mentally, and socially. I want to be healthy because it feels good to wake up every morning without all your limbs, muscles, or skin hurting. I want to be healthy so I can wake up every morning without a headache. I want to be healthy so I can control what I do from day to day with ease. I want to be healthy so I can fall in love in peace, I want to be lost in the moment without health coming in the way. I want to be healthy so I can write and make art about it and be proud of what I make. I want to be in full control of my body, I think that’s why I’ve never consumed alcohol or smoked, the thought of not being in control of my body scares the hell out of me.
