LIFE.
Art : LIFE.
By Sakuan.
Run away from me to get away from me, I am a disruption to your being, I don’t care about myself as much as I would want to, sad, I know. I don’t think I would care about you the way you want me to, it is sad, I already told you, I KNOW. I don’t think I deserve anything, I don’t think this is the way to do things, I don’t understand the human brain, how does it think? Why is “A” bad to me but good to you? The lens at which we look at things is truly bizarre, the same thing “A”, two completely different outcomes. I run from everything that comes my way, sometimes that is a good thing and sometimes it is a bad thing, for I miss a lot of opportunities, at least I think I do. I can only imagine what life could be like, I can see the future, and it is filled with happy thoughts and a peaceful life all together, that is what I hope for, just a mirage? Perhaps, because the human brain is such a peculiar place, all this could be in my head. Am I even here? am I even talking to you? Do I exist? Does life itself exist, my brain wanders to places from time to time and then it comes back to me asking questions that only I could answer, but there is the rub, “only I could answer”. There is one problem with that, I am not stable enough to answer whatever my brain asks, how do people do this? how do humans do this? Are they all sad but just putting up a fake smile for their friends? I don’t like the word friend, it sounds so simple, nothing is ever that simple, the human life experience itself can attest to this. Some think they are blessed, other look at those blessings as curses, as confusing as it is, I am glad I get to experience it.
LIFE.
Progress.
How did you come to that conclusion?
Well.
-I added two to another two and got four.
-I added four ones together and got four.
-I added a one to a three and got four.
-I added two ones to a two and got four.
-I subtracted a one from a five and got four.
Life is such, there are a lot of ways to get to the same destination, just because whatever he did worked for him doesn’t mean it will work for you. I learned this the hard way, I can’t begin to tell you how many times I sat there thinking I must be doing the wrong thing because the blueprint I was following wasn’t working for me, I wish life was that simple and guaranteed, I wish I could just put two twos together and get to a four straight away, life is way more complicated than that and now I know it. I came to understand that there are people out there who have worked harder than you in trying to accomplish the same thing, and life was good to them. At the same time, I have seen people who haven’t worked as hard as you and have still accomplished what you dream of accomplishing. I have seen people work way harder than you and not get what you have, this is because life isn’t that simple. Makes me wonder if I am doing something wrong because I am not getting to my “four” despite adding the correct numbers together.
Sometimes you have to add and subtract a bunch of numbers just to get to four, for some it is as easy as adding two and two, but for others, they might have to add a ten to another ten and then subtract a seven, then subtract a five and then subtract two twos just to get to a four. Some give up on the way, some perceive, and at the end of they day those who perceive might still end up failing just like those who give up the only difference is that those who perceive have something to show for their existence.
LIFE.
Want and Get.
What you want isn't always what you get, so why does it matter? We're more likely to get what we want when we aim for it; the point of aiming is to improve our chances of success. I have dreams of making something out of myself, but that doesn’t mean I'll be guaranteed to reach my goals—and that's okay. Some people don’t even get to have the perspective on life that I do; some people never get to see their potential, and it's not because of a lack of trying, rather a lack of knowing. That knowledge often comes down to luck—it depends on who you are, how you were raised, the people around you, where you grew up, and so on. I'm only human, and I’ll admit, sometimes I'm scared of reaching my goals because I don’t know who I'll become once I get there. I don’t judge—well, I try to understand before judging; that's not quite true either—I listen before I judge. There we go. Some people chase success, and I do too, but at times, the thought of it scares me because I wonder who I'll turn into. I hope it's someone decent; it’s all about perspective. I guess I can’t really control who I become because it's not entirely up to me. People will judge me based on their own views, regardless of what I do, and that's okay. Just because I want success doesn’t guarantee I'll get it; just because I want a family someday doesn’t mean I will have one. Just because I desire love doesn’t mean I'll find it. Still, I can work toward all these things, which gives me hope that maybe someday I'll achieve them. For now, I have to figure out how to exist in this.
LIFE.
By Nu Nazareth.
